Continuing to Serve

In some ways I feel like I've become selfish since I've been back. When I go to classes, I feel like it is all about me. It's about me absorbing the material and then spending a lot of time studying it so I can do better. I know in a lot of ways that it is pretty irrational to feel like I'm selfish because I'm using my time to open up more doors for my future, but coming back from Egypt kind of changes my perspective.

Tonight, I was doing room check and one of the guys on my hall got to talking with me. I've been pretty sure for awhile that he is depressed, but I came to a full realization that he was depressed when he randomly mentioned to me that he hadn't been eating and he gets really tired all of the time. We chatted a little bit more and then I realized that I was 5 minutes late for our RA Meeting.

I ran over to the dorm and got heckled by an authority figure that I just don't really click with, but it was worth it because the guy on my hall is worth infinitely more than the AF being annoyed about my untimeliness.

The meeting got out and I got this idea in my head (God?) that I would give my taco's from "Taco Tuesday" to the guy on my hall. I came back to the dorm and grabbed some fruit, oatmeal, cereal, and some canned food from my puny stash of food and brought it up to him. I think the look of his gratefulness will probably stick with me for awhile. There are some people that just say "thank you" because it is a cultural custom, but he was genuinely thankful. Giving him some food reminded me of the finer things in life- helping people because, for me, that's practical Christianity.

A Morning Sat Remiscing

I woke up this morning and was thinking about what my focus is in life right now. I've pretty much summed it up to this: STUDYING, finalizing the details on a solid, ENJOYABLE career, deepening my relationship with God, starting healthy, straightforward, honest relationships with people, and becoming a good athlete again. I look at where I am this school year and where I was in the 2007 school year and I my priorities have changed.I still feel my demons in the closet struggling to get out and go wreak havoc on my life, but they don't speak to me as loudly or maybe I'm just learning to tune them out.

I'm back at Walla Walla U. and at times it feels like I didn't even go last year. The school is the same and none of the buildings have disappeared. The good friends that I made are still here. The cafeteria food hasn't changed. They still serve Sobe's in the SAC for outrageous prices and I'm still disappointed by the fact that the ice cream machine still isn't fixed- damn, but maybe that is best since I'm trying to be an "athlete" again...

Everything seems the same, but I know I'm different. Sometimes I feel like nothing has changed, but I know I've changed in a lot of ways. When I got back to the US for my first two weeks of being home, I struggled with acting like the person I was in September 2008 and being the "Eric" that had grown up a bit while being in Egypt. The two seemed to clash a little bit and since the "Eric" prior to going seemed the most normal and could blend in with the family, so I chose that. It didn't last long until I realized that the two don't go together very well and my sense of peace was going away.

So here I am back at WWU and I've been thinking about the experience of being in Egypt. I remember the distinct musty, stale, polluted taste/smell of the air in Cairo. I remember my laughing, excited "hellions" for students. I feel the hot sun and the nights of not being able to fall asleep because my sweat made the sheets stick to my skin. I taste the morning beans for breakfast and the scrumptious Egyptian version of spaghetti, Kushary. I'm to the point where I actually wouldn't mind having some rice with Ayesh and a nice eggplant sauce. I hear the blown-out speakers of the mosque making the "call to prayer". All of it is so far away, but somehow I've been changed by it. As I sit here recalling all that happened around me, to me, and inside of me I can't help but think that somehow on the 6th of October, 2009 I'm a different person. I'm still figuring out how, but one thing that I am certain of is that Egypt did change me.