Controlling Anger

Today was, once again, another interesting day. I started my day off with the normal run in the morning and things were going pretty fine until staff meeting. We got there and started going over the normal topics and then the boys dean brought up the topic of one of the students, Simon, who has been staying with his brother in the villa next door because he broke his leg two months ago and he didn't want to have to make the daily two hour trip to the school with crutches. It turns out that Simon is also the most responsible kid in grade 10 and arguably one of the most responsible kids in the school. You can probably tell that, as a teacher, I love him.

So as the dean was going off on how he needed to go home, I interjected and said, "we should find a way for him to be here and what is the problem with him living there right now? He's a responsible kid and he's not causing any trouble living there."

The dean then brought up an off-topic argument, "well there are other students who want to live there and he shouldn't be allowed to." So I said, "well, we should at least make a spot for him in the dorm when we move another student there if we are going to kick him out of villa 3."

He then responded, "No we can't do that. I talked to him and he doesn't want to live in the dorms."

At this point I was getting mad, because he was clearly lying and was trying to deceive the principal into making Simon go home. I obviously didn't want that because I wouldn't want to travel four hours everyday and so I indignantly inquired of the dean, "When did he say that?"

He replied, "Oh... Just the other day." So I pressed him again and said, "When? Because I just talked to him yesterday and he said he REALLY wants to live here and has wanted to live here for awhile."

At this point the Principal interjected and stated that the students shouldn't be talking to me about this, but the dean or him. I was feeling pretty angry about this because I was just trying to make sure he didn't get unfairly sent back to being a day student. Dwight, the Principal, was right, the students should be talking to him about this.

The staff meeting ended shortly after and I sat there in the staff room ANGRY. I honestly felt like decking the dean in the face. I realized that if I didn't get a handle on my emotions then I was going to be angry and would probably lash out at one of my students. I remembered my Mom telling me that "It is your choice if you are going to be angry. You don't have to be angry. You are the only one who is in control of your emotions."

As the day went on, I'll be honest that at times it was really difficult to control my emotions. I found myself wanting to let my anger go on my students, but I had to keep reminding myself that it was my choice to be angry. Anger isn't a bad thing, but it is dangerous if it isn't controlled and channeled in the right direction.

I'm realizing that I have to get up the "kahuna's" and have a showdown with the dean one on one or I'm going to have animosity towards him. I know he will feel it, too, because I'm not very kind to people I GENUINELY dislike (and I'm getting there). I struggle to have and show respect for them. I don't want that because that will continue to make it an up-hill battle to control my anger every morning in staff meeting whenever he speaks and that will take our teaching team nowhere desirable. I can't let cowardice take hold by sitting idly on my anger, I have to solve the situation. Be that by decking him the face (kidding) or discussing the problem with him as grown men. "Be of good courage."